Friday, April 6, 2012

A Piece of Me, to You

This piece is dedicated to the 29 beautiful souls who held my hand as we walked together on the journey through our 200 hour yoga teacher certification last fall.  I feel like I short changed them all because I got scared when ending our final session together. So my teacher, Claire, planted a seed in the fertile soil (manure? compost? hehe) that resides between my ears when she said to me, "I still can't believe you fucked that up." Her comment ate away at me until I could make it right. And so this is my humble attempt at making it right. I hope the 29 of you enjoy it because you all are fucking amazing!

Also, in the name of full disclosure, I have to admit that my original intent with this piece was to have it ready for the closing of my next teacher training. But like I said, I feel like I short changed my fellow students and that it would be irresponsible of me to sit on this without sharing it with them. Also, I wrote this with the thought that it would be a spoken word piece. So make sure you read it like I would say it.

Side note to my teacher training friends, if you want to hear me do this out loud, make your voices heard! Send me some messages and I will have it ready for the next time we get together for dinner.

Claire says I fucked up the last one
so I wrote this one before we were even half done.
But I'm just havin' some fun
So grab some
bench and get comfortable.
Cuz Claire also says I need to be more vulnerable.
So here goes.

My shit won't come up by itself.
So I reach for a puke bag
like I got jet lag
and I drink
then pay homage at another porcelain god
after I gave another bottle the head nod.
While talkin' about where I trod
I'd start thinkin', "My god!
Where the fuck am I going?
What kind of seeds am I sowing?
What kind of weeds have I been growing?"

June Eighteen Twenty Ten
That's the day when
I made my peace.
No lie,
I knew I was gonna die.
But the winds kicked up
and blew me off course.
I was struck by a force
of nature.
And in a stroke of luck,
nothing major,
I took solace in safe harbor.
At the bottom of another bottle.

Bad relationships, I've had a few.
Then again, too few to mention.
Alright, I'll make one exception.
We were so connected.
I can't even say how many happy memories we collected.
Then, for a month, she was going to Europe.
And I almost threw up
Cuz she was to stay with her ex.
Almost had me convinced they wouldn't have sex.
So I asked her, "What is love?"
And she told me, "My love is like a sandwich."
So I told her, "I hope you die slow, you fuckin' bitch!"
But my anger wasn't about her.
I was left feeling like a mangy, unlovable cur.
Years later, she came around for a victory lap.
And we got down to that slappity, slap.
But that sex wasn't about connection.
It was simply misdirection.
Merely baby food for the ego.
And that's as far as we go.
What scares me most,
What I don't understand,
I that I still love her.

July Three Two Zero One Zero
Enter: A tiny, blue-eyed hero.
She calls me brother.
Gave me a gift that
changed my life.
A simple yoga mat
taught me how to deal with strife.
I don't have words that can express my gratitude
for the change in attitude
that she helped me find.
I used to get stressed out.
Now, I just move from one place to another with the breath stretched out.

I want to share a few things I've learned
cuz I've been burned
and been turned
'til I had the spins.
So now I teach
because I like to share my experiences with others.
(Full Disclosure: I stole the wording for the first two)
1. If lost I gotta ask, "What's the task I've been given?" Cuz if I miss what I pass on the path when it twists, there'd be no journey in the visit like it already happened, but didn't.
2. The page I always skip is the one that keeps repeating itself.
3. It is sometimes okay to steal.
4. Nouli makes you poo.
5. The things we hate about others are the things that we hate about ourselves.

Y'all, it ain't easy to tell you what I see.
Even harder to say what I feel.
But now I stand before you,
Nothing more than an
And I'm just trying to be.
And connect with something real.

Peace and Love, Y'all,

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