Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Being Alone

I am re-blogging something today because it has sort of hit home with me and my life as of late.


We have become a culture with a need of constant stimulus and entertainment. To a point, we need to have entertainment. We need to be able to relax and unwind and let loose. What I see happening, though, is that we have become afraid to be ourselves with our selves. Most people no longer take time to get to know themselves. How often is it that we find ourselves waiting for a bus, a train, a class and we immediately whip out our smart phones and start texting or facebooking or internetting? I am surely guilty as charged. How often do we see friends or family members who are single having dating problems? How often are those friends or family members stressed because they "should have a meaningful relationship already?" How many of us have meaningful relationships with ourselves? How many of us can truly say, "I know what I want and what I don't want and I am open to the needs and wants of another/others?" How often do we judge others for things that we ourselves are guilty of? How many of us have been or currently are that shitshow?

Being alone with ourselves gives us time to reflect. It allows us to get to know ourselves. It allows us to open our hearts and our minds to the wondrous world around us. Being alone with ourselves allows us to become friends with the parts of ourselves that we may not like very much (the same parts that we may be a little bit afraid of). It allows us to understand that we are all weird and to embrace our weirdness. It gives us confidence to expose our inner weirdo to someone who might be interested in being weird with us. Really, what is a meaningful relationship if not the ability to be comfortably open and weird with someone else who has the ability to be just as comfortably open and weird with you?

When, dear readers, was the last time you sat on a park bench alone and started a conversation with a stranger? When was the last time you were walking down the street and looked someone square in the eye and smiled at them? Said hello? Told someone they looked pretty or handsome or stunning or dashing and meant it (outside of the context of trying to sleep with them)? When was the last time you felt an actual, real connection with another human being? When was the last time you were genuinely kind to someone for no other reason than to make their day better?

My challenge to you, dear readers, is to be with yourself for ten minutes. Be completely alone. Turn off the tv and the cell phone and the computer. The panicking will end. You will be fine. I promise. Open yourself to your self and see what happens. Then go out and use what you have learned when you interact with people. See if you can make someone's day. This is a tall order, I know. Many of you will make excuses that it will be too difficult or you are tired or you are afraid. To this, my friends, I will make only one argument. Spending a tiny bit of your own energy for the benefit of another will allow you to reap rewards that you may not understand yet. You will be surprised by how uplifting a stranger's or loved one's smile can be. Furthermore, the Universe, similarly to Santa Claus, is making a list and checking it twice. The more good you do for others, the more good that will be returned onto you.

In closing, many of you will read this and think that I'm weird. I am. So are you. And on that note, I would like to leave you all with a quote from the late Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. "It never got weird enough for me." So go out and get weird this week. Do something that makes you uncomfortable, like making someone's day.

Peace and love,

P.S. I realize that I started out this post by telling you that you should be alone and finished it by telling you that you should go out and be with people. The logic behind this is this: By taking better care of ourselves, we can take better care of others. Being alone allows us to take better care of ourselves. Helping others also gives us a boost. By taking care of ourselves, we can better take care of others; by taking care of others, we can take better care of ourselves.

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